I am back and I am promising to commit to blogging a little everyday. I am going to treat it as therapy and a little me time. I need it. I’m seriously freaking out. My life has come to a major cross-road and I’m not sure of how to navigate this one. I feel like I know where I need to go but there are so many things that are in my path. How do I know that I am making the right decision about my future? It’s the rest of my life and that is a BIG deal to me. I don’t want to do school psychology like my mom wants me to do and I want to go to the school I initially said I didn’t want to consider for undergraduate work. I want to live on my own. The thing is, I can’t really afford it all by myself now. My mom has freaked out on me more than once recently for many reasons but one of the biggest ones is my choice in grad schools. She doesn’t want me there, even though it is closer to home. I find myself asking my dad and grandparents for advice about how to handle her. Why do I feel like making myself happy is wrong? Should I go ahead and do what I want to do and risk being “disowned” by my mother? I’m so confused and scared. I’m also ready for a change. Four years here has been great but they are coming to an end and almost all the people who have made this place home for me are going to be elsewhere. I want to broaden my horizons and try a new place. I think that rehabilitation counseling will be a rewarding job and stimulating. I’m just so confused. On top of all that, I have fallen in love with all the kids at the daycare where I work and I know it will be really hard to leave them. I knew that as I comforted one of the kids today the same way my mother used to comfort me when I was their age and feeling sick. What to do?
As I said, though, I plan to keep this blog up. Sorry if this post bored you to death but I had to get it out somewhere.
